It only took 2 days and there were tears. Tears of disappointment, guilt, pressure, frustration and pain. My pain in my stomach grew so bad that I could barely walk 100m without having to stop. I wasn’t eating let alone drinking enough to warrant a bike ride, and the pain just wouldn’t let me, so i didn’t ride Tuesday. After a movie yesterday afternoon, Matt knew I was trying to be brave and hide the pain but it only took a few words to allow the tears to flow.
I felt disappointed how my time in Perth was not used as I had hoped, to put into practice all the great things I learnt while I was away last year, like being present. I fell into my old ways. Lists were running through my head before I even woke up each day. I tried to control situations and people to get things done instead of allowing to them occur organically and spontaneously. I became so focused on work and earning enough money that I even forgot to do my silly songs and dances I tend to do through the wards. I noticed when I was with people I wasn’t even listening to what they were actually saying. I only went surfing a few times in Perth, which is sad as its something I love to do. I felt like the life was drawing out of me, especially in the last two weeks in Perth.
But now as I sit at Flat Rock Beach today I am happy and at peace. My laughs and giggles are returning as with my energy. I laugh at how we are on this amazing journey of life and how I pull off the most craziest and wonderful situations. Dad said to us a few days ago, ” you guys must be the arsiest couple I know” and he’s right we get everything we want.
Things weren’t as bad as what I thought and felt they were when in Perth. A little change in my perception removed the guilt and sadness and left me with acceptance. I guess the moral of this story is have a cry and then realise that things are never as bad as they seem. It sounds simple, but in a split second everything can change.
The above photos are on Flat Rock Beach where we are doing some free (illegal) camping tonight. There’s a toilet block here and dogs are allowed. I’m sure Matt will be getting some spectacular sunset shots.